Why it is time to leave behind the “Gay Best Friend”

Why it is time to leave behind the “Gay Best Friend”

First, there was clearly My companion’s Wedding; В then cameВ Intercourse additionally the CityВ and, needless to say, В Will & Grace.

В Jump ahead a several years, and it is also cropped up in Lena Dunham’s Girls. The trope is officially and stubbornly solidified in pop music tradition.

It is the Gay friend that is best — the paradigmatic relationship between gay guy and a right girl — who has swept completely through our tradition, being a classic characterВ on displays plus in true to life. It really is an increase that is possibleВ to some extent due to a society that is increasingly accepting one which’s available to exposure for gay males, validates their orientation and acknowledges their contributions. В

But it is precisely that good progress which makes the one thing clear today: The Gay friend that is best has to get. In a time when marriage equality is sweeping the country and acceptance is regarding the increase, it really is a dated label that, ultimately, does more harm than good. That is why it is the right time to change the nonsensical “Gay friend that is best” with an even more accurate term: buddy.

The main regarding the issue: “Stereotypes certainly are a category system which makes the planet feel more workable, ” claims Liz Margolies, founder and professional director associated with the nationwide LGBT Cancer Network. And individuals cling in their mind when something is unknown or threatening — there is reason it really is called homophobia, after all. В

There could be another explanation the Gay closest friend stereotype ended up being therefore enthusiastically embraced across tradition: females’s desire to have a non-threatening male presence inside their everyday lives. “Straight women frequently have a wish to have safe and intimate relationships, and gay men offer exactly that without driving a car of intimacy necessarily throwing in, “В psychologist Megan De Beyer toldВ Mic.

The AtlanticВ reported in fact, В a 2013 studyВ of 88 straight women and 58 gay menВ found that the two sides trusted each other’s dating advice more than straight women trusted straight men or gay men trusted straight men or lesbians. It is because, the researchers recommend, the 2 teams share an attraction to guys but they aren’t contending for mates, based on the Atlantic.

The appeal may be connected to also a void women feel. De Beyer added that it is typical to listen to “complaints from right ladies about straight males whom cannot engage on all levels and are also hard to talk to, whereas they feel with homosexual men it is all simply easy, fun and easy. “В

“Straight females frequently have a wish to have safe and intimate relationships, and homosexual guys offer exactly that. “

All sass and style: В what is problematic may be the presumption that homosexual men are always “simple, fun and easy, ” not gay cam boys to mention “fabulous. ” The Gay friend trope that is best hinges on reductive stereotypes of homosexual guys’s passions, habits, behaviors and demeanors, lots of which are put as helpful complements to women’s requirements. В

Pop traditionВ andВ the mediaВ are rife with illogical depictions of gay males since great shoppers, design experts, endless fonts of sassy bons mots and sympathetic, В advisers that are insightful. Those characteristics may accurately explain some men that are gayas well as some doll poodles); but plainly the entire is certainly not rightfully represented. Where would be the fashion-backward gays, the dishonest sneaky queer men, those that do not have humor whatsoever? Gay males, like any other people, have array that is diverse of faculties that cannot be neatly summed up in one single “type. “